be shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves
I feel the need to share this story as a caution to those feel a burden to help people. My dad always tells me. We can only help those who:
1) need help
2) want help
3) with the help we can give
Only when these 3 criteria are fulfilled, are we the correct person to help those who ask us for help.
I met this man when I went to pick up some props for filming. He was in his 40s and told me he knew my dad. He used to attend church and was active. He even played a lead role in the church's musical. I had attended the musical and recognised him. He had stopped attending church and wandered away from God and I felt that I would like to help him so when he offered to go for a drink the next evening I agreed.
I went home and told my parents about him and how I would like to help point this man back to God. My dad cautioned me that it would be more appropriate for a man to counsel a man. I agreed so I called him and told him that I was bringing my brother along. He was not happy with the idea so I told my brother it was not necessary. I decided to go ahead and meet him as agreed upon. I requested my parents to page me so that I could return the call and tell them where I was having this meeting.
When I met up with this man, I told him that I had told my parents that we were having a drink together. I got into his car and we drove to a coffee shop. On the way there, he felt the need to tell me how women found him attractive. I was not impressed. We had a drink and my parents paged me. I answered the call and told them where I was. As we talked I realised this man was not interested in spiritual things at all and I could not help him.
After the drink, he drove me back to pick up my car. Along the way, he regaled me two tales of his exploits. I began to feel very uncomfortable but did my best not to show it. He did not make any unwarranted advances towards me but I was clear that his intentions were less than honourable.
I could not wait to get out of his car. When I was safely in my car, I shook uncontrollably for a few minutes. I knew the danger that I had been in. I was relieved that I had told my parents and that he knew that I had told my parents. I am sure that this important piece of information was a deterrent to him.
He called the next day to ask me out again - this time to a night-club. I told him that I would not go out with him again nor be his friend. What time I could spare would be spent with my family and that his unwelcomed tales of inappropriate behaviour offended me. I thank God for the courage to tell this man the truth.
This man needed help but it was clear that he did not want it and I was the wrong person to help him. He was older and more experienced than me and I was in way over my head.
God is my Protector and Preserver. He gave me wisdom to inform my parents of what I planned to do. Thank God that I did not drink any alcohol. I do not drink alcohol because alcohol impairs my decision-making ability. I am grateful for the courage to realise that I could not help this man and if I carried on I would have gotten into serious trouble.
In hind sight, the signs were all there. From the point when he objected to my brother's presence onwards, his intentions were clear. I am older and wiser now and feel the need to share this with those of us who have been brought up to help others. Let us heed Jesus' warning
"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 NIV
1) need help
2) want help
3) with the help we can give
Only when these 3 criteria are fulfilled, are we the correct person to help those who ask us for help.
I met this man when I went to pick up some props for filming. He was in his 40s and told me he knew my dad. He used to attend church and was active. He even played a lead role in the church's musical. I had attended the musical and recognised him. He had stopped attending church and wandered away from God and I felt that I would like to help him so when he offered to go for a drink the next evening I agreed.
I went home and told my parents about him and how I would like to help point this man back to God. My dad cautioned me that it would be more appropriate for a man to counsel a man. I agreed so I called him and told him that I was bringing my brother along. He was not happy with the idea so I told my brother it was not necessary. I decided to go ahead and meet him as agreed upon. I requested my parents to page me so that I could return the call and tell them where I was having this meeting.
When I met up with this man, I told him that I had told my parents that we were having a drink together. I got into his car and we drove to a coffee shop. On the way there, he felt the need to tell me how women found him attractive. I was not impressed. We had a drink and my parents paged me. I answered the call and told them where I was. As we talked I realised this man was not interested in spiritual things at all and I could not help him.
After the drink, he drove me back to pick up my car. Along the way, he regaled me two tales of his exploits. I began to feel very uncomfortable but did my best not to show it. He did not make any unwarranted advances towards me but I was clear that his intentions were less than honourable.
I could not wait to get out of his car. When I was safely in my car, I shook uncontrollably for a few minutes. I knew the danger that I had been in. I was relieved that I had told my parents and that he knew that I had told my parents. I am sure that this important piece of information was a deterrent to him.
He called the next day to ask me out again - this time to a night-club. I told him that I would not go out with him again nor be his friend. What time I could spare would be spent with my family and that his unwelcomed tales of inappropriate behaviour offended me. I thank God for the courage to tell this man the truth.
This man needed help but it was clear that he did not want it and I was the wrong person to help him. He was older and more experienced than me and I was in way over my head.
God is my Protector and Preserver. He gave me wisdom to inform my parents of what I planned to do. Thank God that I did not drink any alcohol. I do not drink alcohol because alcohol impairs my decision-making ability. I am grateful for the courage to realise that I could not help this man and if I carried on I would have gotten into serious trouble.
In hind sight, the signs were all there. From the point when he objected to my brother's presence onwards, his intentions were clear. I am older and wiser now and feel the need to share this with those of us who have been brought up to help others. Let us heed Jesus' warning
"I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves." Matthew 10:16 NIV
posted by charissa at 5:32 AM
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